Rebirth

January 25, 2020
Newborn Rebecca

This was going to be my 2nd rebirth session with my teacher, Pina @reikibalance — my first session was early August. But what I didn’t expect was to have the most profound energetic experience of my entire life to date.

An hour before arriving at Pina’s, I decided to eat a couple of raw cacao beans from @keithscacao dipped in raw honey, to further encourage a powerful heart-opening experience with complete clarity and focus.

Once I arrived on the reiki table, Pina quickly guided me into multiple rounds of breathwork — within the first 2 minutes I started whaling and sobbing. My legs, hands, and pelvis started trembling like a severe tremor, and my limbs went numb. (Please know that this is a ‘norm’ for me when I do any deep healing, so I’m used to having these types of bodily releases and feel safe internally and externally to allow them to happen.) Pina guided me with her sweet but confident voice, and the first place I went to was to the deepest and darkest time of my life — the moment I was contemplating committing suicide in a bath when I was 17.

Right before graduating high school, I started hanging out with bad influences, drinking hard alcohol from plastic water bottles during class, skipping classes, and falling for every distraction in the book. Everything came crashing down one evening — my mother grounded me for weeks-on-end, removed my bedroom door from the frame, and practically disowned me. I went into an anger and resentment-filled numb state. One night I took a long bath, submerged myself underwater with the intention to say goodbye to this world, and within seconds I heard my mom run up 4 flights of stairs to practically barge down the bathroom door, screaming at me not to even dare thinking to commit suicide. After a few seconds of silence, she repeated herself and I raised my nose above the waterline to inhale and respond ‘fine’ angrily.

Looping back to my rebirth, I watched my 17 y/o self in the tub — sad, angry, unheard, unseen, misunderstood, and above all, lost. I got into the bath with her. I grabbed her wet face with my hands and looked at her deep in the eyes.

Pina guided me to tell her that she is loved, she is supported, and above all, she is not alone. I am here for her — that we are a team. She was unwilling and scared, but after a few rounds of repeating to her that “we are a team,” she surrendered & we combined into one.

Together we turned into a shooting star that traveled from the bath, upwards through the sky & into space. Everything was pitch black, but we were traveling past millions of brightly-lit stars. Until we exploded into hundreds, if not thousands, of stars. I observed the feeling of weightlessness and completely expansive energy.

And then all of a sudden I was back in today’s physical body and watched the stars of the universe form my newborn baby self in my arms. I held her & wept endlessly. I witnessed myself being created, literally born from stars. She was so beautiful, pure, tiny, and powerful.

I apologized to her for all the pain that we went through, all the pain I put us through — the way I treated and still treat myself based on how others once treated me. She forgave me with a full heart and Pina slowly guided me out of the session, wrapped me in reiki healing energy & I very slowly opened my eyes. Even after the session was over, I was stilled tuned in to my newborn self’s energy and just laid there holding her — every time I would say ‘hi’ to her, I would start another wave of hysterical sobbing.

At one point during the session, Pina even started crying — claiming that what she was witnessing was the most beautiful thing she’s ever experienced with her mind’s eye. I thanked her and the universe a million times over for this experience & continued crying for hours on end.

PLEASE NOTE: Every rebirth experience is different — based on the person, the amount and kind of healing they’ve done and so many other factors. It is not for the faint-hearted and not everyone is ready for this type of experience. Do not hold this story/my experience as a standard. I have been working on myself via multiple spiritual & energetic practices for years and have fully surrendered & created a relationship of trust with my teacher.

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